The Church of Scientology would like your help locating a missing person. She’s about yay high, has brown hair, and looks a lot like Katie Holmes, because she is. If you have any info as to her whereabouts, please contact the number below or visit haveyouseenkatie.com.
Or at least, that’s what some prankster would have you believe the church wants you to do, as evidenced by these posters that have begun appearing around Manhattan. That folks are being so quick with the satire only proves that Katie is winning the PR war already. Take, for instance, this quote from Midtown North community council head Larry Roberts:
“With their reputation, would anyone really put it past the Scientology people to put these fliers up? If this was a joke, it was ingenious.”
I agree with this general sentiment, but let’s be clear: we know these posters aren’t real. The Church of Scientology already knows where Katie lives. In fact, they’re there right now! Their stakeout techniques have evolved far beyond the need for some janky little poster campaign.
Photo: Larry Roberts