In More Creepy Tom Cruise Conspiracy News, Katie Holmes Was Cast To Play His Wife

Call me a sucker for romance, but I think we’re about to witness one of the most exciting Hollywood divorces of the decade. The totally made-for-a-Lifetime-movie rumors are already flying about the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes marriage and I have a feeling that everything’s only going to get crazier.

Within the past 72 hours, we not only found out about the divorce, but we also got word that Scientologists are allegedly following Katie Holmes around, Katie Holmes is divorcing in a desperate attempt to keep Suri Cruise away from scientology’s cult and someone let Suri into see Magic Mike without an adult escort at an unidentified Manhattan theater.

And now, in scene right out of the script from The Notebook 2, we’re getting word that Tom Cruise and his brofriends over at Scientology allegedly cast Katie to play Tom’s wife after he broke up with Penelope Cruz in 2004. They wanted a perfect Mrs. Cruise for Tom, a pretty little wife who would be open to Scientology and not — as Nicole Kidman so horribly did — speak poorly about it to the press.

They first considered Jennifer Garner, Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson as potential Mrs. Cruises.

The New York Post says that Tom attempted to woo Sofia with chocolates and flowers, a trick he no doubt learned from watching endless episodes of Saved by the Bell.

When Vergara got an invitation from Cruise’s friend Will Smith to attend a pre-Oscar party, she had no idea she was being set up. She was dazzled by Tom’s megawatt smile and amused by the blizzard of phone calls, flowers and chocolates that followed their first meeting.

It was not long before he casually suggested they head for Celebrity Centre where, surprise, surprise, Miscavige was waiting to layer on the charm. It soon became clear that she was being auditioned for the biggest role of her life — Mrs. Tom Cruise Mark III. It was made clear that if she took the part, she would have to renounce her Catholic faith and convert to Scientology.

But then, like a light on the shores of Dawson’s Creek, Katie Holmes sealed her fate by openly talking about her crush on Tom Cruise and how she’s dreamed of marrying him since she was a little girl. And just like that, Katie Holmes cast herself as Tom’s wife.

Top scientologists approved of the budding actress, flew her to LA to meet Tom and the rest is history. They met, they married, they gave birth to the one and only Suri Cruise and then they divorced. A modern love story, written by an up-and-coming author who goes by the name of Xenu.

(Photo: Brian To/WENN.com)

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    • Rosanna

      Tom should just look WITHIN the Scientology church and find his wife there! That way he wouldn’t have to go through all this stuff! Can’t see the forest for the trees!

    • Lisa

      No kidding. Why does this guy have to choose young, naive actresses to try to convert them? Would it not make more sense to just find someone else who is ALREADY in the Scientology church and lives it?? Guess his ego is too big to date “common” folks.. Kind fo reminds me of someone else.. George Clooney anyone?? (Only his choices are D listers who have less class).

    • Pier

      sorry, but Katie Holmes is ugly: ugly face, ugly legs, nothing beautiful.

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