I realize I’m not Justin Bieber‘s core demographic when it comes to his fans. For starters, I’m an adult. Secondly, I actually like good music that is performed by artists and not some 16-year-old (or however the hell old the kid is now) who bounces around the stage with a microphone attached to his head in a vain attempt to prove he’s “serious” about his music or is about to ask “would you like fries with that?” Thirdly, he just comes off as a self-indulgent brat and I fear the day that I run into someone who genuinely likes him or his music, because I will then be forced to question their IQ.
Because I don’t listen to mainstream music, since I’d rather not subject my ears to whatever shit MTV is shoving down people’s throats these days, I ended up catching Bieber on Jay Leno the other night simply because I changed the channel to NBC too early. I was waiting for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon because, again, I’m an adult, I have taste and standards, and there’s no doubt that Jimmy Fallon and The Roots (I love you, Questlove) have more to offer the world than Bieber who, if we’re to be honest, is just a flash in the pan. Ever heard of Leif Garrett? Look him up and you’ll see Bieber’s future staring you in the face.
So there I am watching this kid and I’m so repulsed that this is what the state of music has evolved to, that I’m halfway between crying and throwing up. Is this kid a joke? Or is this supposed to be a serious performance? And what’s up with that hair and denim vest? Is that like a “look” now, because I’ve never seen it before and I live in fucking New York City where we know far more about style than the rest of the country and definitely more than Mr. Bieber ever will.
Here’s the fashionably and musically challenged kid performing “Boyfriend” on Jay Leno. If someone could explain why he’s rocking gloves meant for riding a bicycle, that would be great.