People Like Us Are Not People Like Me Because I Take Airline Fees Very Seriously

As far as heartwarming movies go about long lost siblings who rediscover themselves while finding out about each other,  People Like Us hits the sweet spot. Selfish man goes to selfish father’s funeral. Selfish father’s lawyer tells selfish man he has a half sister. Half sister is a total mess, but a loving single mom. Selfish man enters their lives, changes them permanently and they all live happily ever after. I think we all know this story. Tale as old as time. Or at least as old as men cheating on their wives and secretly funding second families.

Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks play their parts well, but it’s Michael Hall D’Addario  as the long-haired moppet who really shines as the precocious son/nephew who brings everyone together. Can you feel your heart giving itself a hug yet?

While I don’t recommend that you run to the theaters to see this movie, I will say that if it’s raining out one day and you want to get out of the house, you could make worse choices at the theater.

Almost as horrible as the financial choices the characters make in the film. (Buckle your seat belt! Here come the mild spoilers!)

So I travel by plane a lot. Not because I’m some kind of fancy globetrotting jetsetter, but because I live far away from NY and when I want to go home, I have to travel by plane. It’s safe to say that I’m very familiar with booking airline tickets. I’m also  very familiar with checking off 16 boxes that say, “yes I understand the flight dates I’m choosing and yes I understand that they’re nonrefundable and yes I understand that someone with strong body odor may sit next to me for the duration of the flight.”

And I’m extremely familiar with wanting to make last minute changes for various reasons and being forced to pay extravagant change fees. No if, ands, buts or lies. If you’re claiming that you need to change or cancel for a medical emergency, then you better have a doctor’s note, a death certificate or a dead person in your hand.

Otherwise, you’re handing over your entire life savings to some airline for their change/cancellation fees. Unless, of course, you decide that you’d rather just go home on that original flight — fuck your friend’s birthday — and you’ll just keep your plans. Which is what always happens. It’s always, “you know what, waking up at 3 AM for a 5:30 AM flight isn’t so bad after all, who wants to look well-rested when they see people after being gone for a week. Not me, that’s for sure. Hey airline? Can I carry these extra bags on? You know, the bags under my eyes!”

I’m telling you all this so you can understand why I don’t think People Like Us are at all people like me.

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