As our loyal readers know, we’re on a crusade to be the very first news site to break the inevitable “Miley Cyrus is Pregnant” story. Unfortunately, that means we’re often forced to use the tiniest bits of evidence to prove that she’s with child. Simply put, we don’t have time to wait for a baby bulge to pop out on the cover of People. We have to use what we have right now to make our case. That’s what the hard news business has come to these days. You have to make the news if you want to break the news.
Here’s what we know so far. She’s possibly marrying Liam Hemsworth this weekend in the grand tradition of a shotgun wedding. And she’s staying sober while she’s partying. While there are a variety of explanations for both of these rumors, we’re going to stick with the pregnancy one for now. Because it’s more fun to picture a very special episode of Hannah Montana giving birth.
So here’s the latest on this breaking story. Last night Miley Cyrus and her fiance attended the Australians in Film Awards & Benefit Dinner in LA. (Why was an Australians in Films Award Dinner not in Australia!? Because pregnant woman can’t travel. Boom. That’s a bonus story hidden inside of parentheses.) While walking the red carpet Miley Cyrus said she loves Liam Hemsworth because he reminds her of her own dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.
And no guys, I don’t thinks she’s referring to the fact he looks good cuddled up next to her in a white sheet. I think she’s trying to tell us she’s pregnant by using Liam Hemsworth and dad in the same sentence. She’s trying to say that there’s a bun in the oven and we should set our timer for 9 months so it doesn’t get burnt. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. Or maybe she’s reading too much What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
We won’t know officially until she’s cuddled up on the cover of a magazine holding her little bundle of joy. Until then we’ll continue speculating more thoroughly than an unlicensed OB-GYN hired by In Touch to evaluate baby bumps.