• Thu, Jun 28 2012

On A Scale From 1 To Whatever: How Much Do You Not Care About Jessica Simpson Losing Weight?

I’m so over Jessica Simpson. Not only did it take her approximately 14 years to birth her daughter Maxwell, but she’s hogged the media ever since the very first “Jessica Simpson is pregnant” headline back in October. After she pushed her baby into the world (and onto a reality TV show if Papa Joe Simpson gets any say), I thought we would be done with her. For a little bit at least. But no. She had to go and sign a special deal with Weight Watchers to lose all her baby weight. And because of that very special deal, we have to hear about her weight loss every single day.

Jessica Simpson’s not losing weight fast enough!

Jessica Simpson’s losing weight too fast!

Jessica Simpson’s gaining more weight!

Jessica Simpson has an eating disorder!

Jessica Simpson’s getting fired by Weight Watchers!

Jessica Simpson’s getting full-time hired by Weight Watchers!

Weight Watchers will murder Jessica Simpson if she doesn’t lose the weight.

Jessica Simpson will murder Weight Watchers if they make her lose weight.

Vanessa Lachey helping Jessica Simpson to lose weight by tweeting out pregnant photos of herself.

Jessica Simpson helping to control her rage against Vanessa Lachey by working out even harder, and therefore losing weight.

These are all headlines I read in the past 30 seconds. That’s how fast they’re coming at us now. And frankly, it’s exhausting. It’s also just not that interesting. People gain weight and people lose weight all the time. We just don’t need to see it happening on a minute-by-minute basis.

So can someone just call me when she gets her “fat hologram” commercial for Weight Watchers on the air? Until then, I’m tuning out.

(Photo: Michael Wright/WENN.com)

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