This past weekend, Paris Hilton made her DJing debut at Pop Music Festival in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where she managed to bomb hard enough to get the normally friendly citizens of techno town to boo her. They didn’t do it to be mean; they did it because she basically begged them to. Nobody on ecstasy is ever mean just for fun.
Clad in a sparkly onesie and diamond-studded headphones, she tried to butter up the crowd by telling them Brazilians party the hardest, but that didn’t stop the horrible sounds from reaching everyone’s ear holes and harshing their mellows:
As you can see in the video, Paris pretty much just danced around after pushing play on her pre-mixed set, but she still managed to bungle up a mash-up of her new song “Last Night” with Rihanna‘s “We Found Love.” It doesn’t take a techspert to know something’s off.
I know DJing is generally considered the last refuge of the baselessly famous, so “Paris Hilton Can’t Even DJ Right” would be the obvious joke to make here. And no, it doesn’t take a whole lot of skill to sample your iTunes library for a bar full of people. (I would know, I do it all the time.) But no matter what you think of the genre, the type of electronic wizardry engaged in by top DJs at festivals like this one is actually really, really difficult. And the kinds of people who go to these festivals tend to be purists about this type of thing. I’ve even heard it compared to “going to church.” So basically, Paris Hilton just took a big, steaming shit in the middle of someone’s church. She’s lucky raver kids aren’t violent like juggalos.