1. Caroline Manzo, @CarolineManzo: Sixth born of the Laurita clan, Caroline Manzo, according to her Facebook page, is “the epitome of a strong New Jersey woman.” Take that as you will. She and husband Albert have been married for over 25 years, and run the Brownstone together, as we’ve all seen. Obviously the most normal of the RHONJ bunch, Caroline has obviously done a decent parenting job, as Albie, Chris and Lauren are the comedic highlights of the show.
2. Chris Laurita: Married to naive and somewhat annoying Real Housewife Jacqueline Laurita, Chris is the president and CEO of an apparel company and is apparently venturing into the organic beverage business. The couple has two sons, eight-year-old CJ and two-year-old Nicholas. And obviously, there’s Ashley Holmes (now Ashlee according to her Facebook page, which we at Crushable have already generously stalked for you), Jacqueline’s daughter from a previous marriage who they shipped off to Vegas because she’s such a brat and always treated poor Chris like crap no matter how hard he tried with her.
3. (Claudine) Dina Manzo, @dinamanzo: Did you know her real name is Claudine? Weird, right? As we all know Dina left the show after season 2 when shit started getting cray. And since then, Dina said in a blog post titled “The Truth!,” she has chosen to distance herself from ALL the housewives, including sister Caroline. And apparently the whole family, as she was noticeably absent from her brother’s wedding. In other news, she’s a designer and event planner with her own company called Designer Affair, she founded the charity Project Ladybug, and she now hosts Dina’s Party on HGTV. Not bad. Her and hubby Tommy have one daughter, Alexia, with whom I always thought she had a somewhat odd relationship, and they have proved it with this photo. Good cause and all, but it’s a little weird right? I wouldn’t do that with my mom.
4. Jaime Laurita, @jmelaurita: The wedding was…stop I’m getting misty again. Gorgeous. Perfect. I’m going to find all of his decorations and Pin them for later use. But as for Jaime himself, I really think his Twitter bio says it all: “Conscious, Creative Chef & designer, Organics, Foods, Wines and Art are my passions. I aim 4 perfection. I am a QUALITY driven man. I love God & motivational speaking.” I’ve been following the guy for the past couple weeks, and promptly ended that relationship a couple days ago. I’m all for marriage equality, I cried watching the wedding, and I’m sure he’s a great guy, but I can only read so many differently phrased versions of “Be yourself.” If you want to know any more about Jaime, I’ve already written that article.
5. Francesca (Frannie) D’Annunzio, @frannielaurita: For starters, she describes herself as “one of those crazy animal activist people,” so I already know we’re not going to be friends. (And don’t tell me that’s not a possibility; I live 35 minutes away from these people thank you very much.) Anyway, other than that we know Frannie used to live with Caroline, and is very close to the family judging from Twitter.
6. Angela (Cookie) Rooney, @cookielaurita: She has been married twice and has a son named Joe Granelli (Allegedly. This is where my sources start getting dicey). She lives and works with Dina, according to Dina herself.
7. Joseph Laurita: Meet Joseph Laurita and his wife Adele of Westport, Connecticut.
Joseph is the CEO and president of Margaritaville Apparel Group, and founded Signature Apparel Group with his brother Chris. Tragically, his son Frankie passed away in 2008 at just 25 years old, leaving behind siblings Michele and Joey. The only members of the Laurita family mentioned in the obituary are Jaime, Chris, Anthony and Ann. This may be the result of a rumored feud among the siblings.
8. Anthony Laurita: Lives in New Jersey
9. Ann Ricks: She resides in Pennsylvania. And that is all I know.
10. Dominick Laurita: He is 58 years old, lives in New Jersey (not in Franklin Lakes though), and is an Interstate Home Inspector. I could give you his work number, but I feel creepy enough already.
11. Michael Laurita: Name is the best I could do.
Bravo to Anthony, Ann, and especially Michael for stumping my stalking skills. And apologies to Dominick, I really do feel like a sketchball. Maybe I’ll call you to inspect my house sometime to make up for it.