Every night Thomas and TalHotBlond, also known as Katie, take to the computers and talk dirty to each other. Looks like someone is starting to spend a lot of time behind closed doors. Katie even mails him a package, complete with provocative photos and pair of panties. Oooh la la? Try to hold back your vomit folks.
Meet Thomas Montgomery: a 40-something man with a receding hairline and a pair of pervy Coke-bottle glasses. He works nine to five at some sort of steel factory, then leaves to coach his daughters' swim team. Not things you brag about at a high school reunion, but the perfect traits for a Lifetime movie creeper.
When your wife emasculates you, it's probably hard to get it up in the bedroom. At least, that seems to be the case in the Montgomery house. It's hard to feel like a man when you do all the cooking and cleaning.
The one thing that makes Thomas feel like a man is monthly poker night with the guys. But once a month isn't enough for Thomas, and his friends introduce him to online poker . Pretty soon Thomas will have a Twitter account.
During a game, Thomas receives a message from TallHotBlond -- a tall, technically hot, blonde teenager. Forgetting that this girl is young enough to be his daughter, Thomas sends some sexy messages and takes on the identity of a 20-something soldier named Tommy. Come on Thomas, if it's real love she'll love you for you. But probably more like a dad.
Every night Thomas and TalHotBlond, also known as Katie, take to the computers and talk dirty to each other. Looks like someone is starting to spend a lot of time behind closed doors. Katie even mails him a package, complete with provocative photos and pair of panties. Oooh la la? Try to hold back your vomit folks.
Too bad his wife tends to cock-block him by taking up time on the computer. Doesn't she know her hubby needs to feel like a man? Sick of sharing his time, he buys a laptop which FREAKS HER OUT. Since, ya know, laptops are super expensive! I wonder what she would have thought if he came home in a Convertable. His new gear turns him into a new man who works out and acts like he has some confidence. Maybe affairs with teens aren't so bad? No, no. They are.
But be careful boys. If you're not careful then someone will find out about your second life. If you start acting too happy, your wife WILL sign on to your computer and she WILL discover the dirty pictures. Hell, she may even overhear you propose to TallHotBlond in the bathroom.
When she finds out, she WILL call you out in front of your daughters and she WILL make you sleep in the garage.
She will also tell her BFF, who will tell the rest of the town. Surprisingly, this doesn't get you ass slaps and high-fives from your poker buddies. In fact, one of your friends tries to guilt trip you into hooking him up with TallHotBlond. So what do you do? Shoot your buddy in the head of course. No one takes away your 18-year-old.
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Soon, reality sets in and you realize that you seriously effed up. You try to escape with a good old fashion camping trip, even the Unibomber couldn't hide in the wilderness forever.
The worst part: TallHotBlond was really a short, average looking, brunette middle-aged woman. AKA, your wife. Turns out the girl isn't always younger on the other side.
