You guys I have to be honest, I’m pretty embarrassed. This whole time I thought it was 2012 but it was actually the 1960s and black people are still an oddity because of their strangely colored skin that is so different and exotic to look upon. And At least, that’s what Miriam Margolyes thought when she met Will.i.am for the first time on The Graham Norton Show last night.
Miriam played Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter movies, but the rest of her 71 years of life have apparently been spent indoors and away from non-Caucasians as she was ‘fascinated’ to meet will.i.am. She brought the usually-outspoken member of The Black Eyed Peas to stunned speechlessness when she said,
“Unfortunately, I don’t know many black people. We don’t get to meet across the colour line much except in showbusiness and that’s what’s so nice.”
Wait, what? Is there still a color line? And we have to meet across it? Is this the beginning of a heartwarming romance where Miriam and will.i.am have to endure the scorn of their families as they nurture a tender love? I hope so. Miriam wasn’t done with her oddly racially-insensitive diatribe, however, as she’s also apparently never met a rapper. Which I guess is a little more understandable. I’ve never met a real rapper, either. (I have, however, met many aspiring rappers, which is just as
exotic depressing as it sounds.) After she found out that will.i.am had made a donation to a charity known as the Prince’s Trust, she said:
‘”You’re fabulous! How unexpected that a rapper would do this. I don’t have a very positive attitude towards rappers. I don’t really know any, you’re the first one I’ve actually talked to.”
This lady is no joke. Impressively, will.i.am was actually all over it. Who knows whether or not he was offended, but he brushed it off and moved smoothly past it by responding, ”I’m the first rapper and black guy you’ve kicked it with!” and teaching Miriam what ‘home boys’ and ‘old school’ meant. You know, those phrases that only black people know. I hope one day I meet a real one who can teach me how to say them, too, and what they mean. Miriam also asked will.i.am if he’d “heard of Jews”.
Honestly, where did this woman come from? Is there a place in the world where black people and Jewish people are so rare that their very presence is worth a comment? I’m imagining that this woman was raised in some sort of Rapunzel tower somewhere with Leave It To Beaver to educate her about the modern world.
Let’s hold off a little bit before we show her the Kardashians. It really may be too much for the old girl.