As part of his intrepid quest to defile the hearts and loins of as many fair ladies as he will, John Mayer has set his sights on none other than Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence. And, like many a casanova before him, he reportedly elected to begin the seduction at that most sensual of locales, Medieval Times.
At least, according to various sources. RadarOnline reports that Mayer put the moves on Jennifer this past Saturday at the corny tourist attraction, and that she did not respond by shooting him an icy glare and telling him she’s already dating Nicholas Hoult, but by “giggling and covering her mouth”:
“It was almost like she was a little nervous being around him. She kept giggling and covering her mouth. It was cute,” an eyewitness dishes.
“And John was eyeing up Jennifer like he was a dog and she was a juicy pork chop! When he lays on the charm he lays it on real thick!”
That’s very interesting, but can you describe it in an even grosser way?
“He’s really well read so he kept using his knowledge of the medieval era to make puns and crack everyone up. He was even putting on an English accent at times and ordering ‘beer-eth.’ Jennifer thought he was a riot. It was like a freshman having a crush on the captain of the football team.”
Let’s get one thing straight, okay? John Mayer is not the captain of the football team. If we’re going to go with high school metaphors, I’d say he’s the weird older guy who hangs around high school parties hoping a drunk teen will throw a handjob his way merely because he is older. (And who won’t even wait until the next day to brag to his buddies about it.) Jennifer Lawrence is that rare theater kid who seems to be well-liked by everyone because she’s pretty and nice and not as annoying as the rest of the drama club. Don’t get it twisted.
In any case, I’m not sure I believe this rumor, because Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t seem like the type to go for John “David Duke dick” Mayer over her cute, nice, age-appropriate boyfriend. But maybe I’m wrong. Never underestimate the appeal of a soft rock bad boy, I guess.
(Photo Credit: WENN.com)