While it’s generally an accepted fact that Kim Kardashian has no “talents” in the traditional sense of the word, I’ve always admired her ability to “accidentally” leak sensitive (i.e. naked) materials, pretend to be embarrassed about it, and then reap the benefits. It’s not much, but it’s a skill of sorts! We have to work with the assets God gives us, which is why it pains me to say that, judging from the quickly debunked nude photo “scandal” that happened earlier this morning, Kim Kardashian can’t even do that anymore.
For those of you who were too busy sleeping, commuting, or having a life to follow it while it was going down, here’s what happened. A picture of a strikingly Kardashian-esque woman started circulating on Twitter, and various people claimed it had originally been tweeted (and then deleted) by Kanye West. Because the Internet’s never met a Numerous blog posts then ran with headlines like “Did Kanye West Tweet A Nude Photo Of Kim Kardashian? OMG!” Never mind the fact that the most X-rated things in the picture are sideboob, butt crack, and the way she’s attacking that breakfast tray.
However, TMZ quickly learned that the photo was actually of adult film actress Amia Miley, who posted that same photo (which is of herself) last year. “im not going 2 argue about whether that pic is me or not.. want proof? look at the back dimple piercings. kim k doesn’t have those,” she tweeted. Womp, womp.
TMZ attributes the “scandal” to “#WanksterWednesday — a prank day where people try to get bogus rumors started,” but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually a poorly orchestrated effort by Kim to feed her constant, all-consuming need for attention. What better way to get back in the news than to pretend to be mad at your boyfriend for tweeting a (very flattering) photo of you? Unfortunately, she was clearly phoning it in on this one.
So what have we learned from all this?
1.) If you’re going to “leak” nudes, don’t steal them from Internet-savvy people.
2.) Amia Miley is a shoo-in to play Kim in the inevitable porn-parody-of-a-porn-parody that’s going to get made about her life.