• Tue, Jun 12 2012

Bret Easton Ellis Casts Lindsay Lohan Opposite Porn Star James Deen

As you may already know, celebrated author of depressing books Bret Easton Ellis is making an “LA noir” film called The Canyons, and it’s going to star celebrated author of non-depressing orgasms James Deen in the lead role. (Hooray!) Perhaps sensing the film was getting too classy, Ellis has now decided on Lindsay Lohan for his leading lady, as he told the world early this morning via Twitter:

Pretending for a second that her busy schedule of lying to the cops and going back to jail will allow her to actually play this role, my first impulse is to get extremely angry that LiLo is being invited to put her mitts all over this universally adored male sex symbol, while his longstanding relationship with me remains tragically one-sided. Unfair! And secondarily, as we haven’t seen her do a great job in anything since Mean Girls, it’s uncertain whether or not she’ll butcher BEE’s script.

Then again, Lindsay’s prematurely weather-beaten soul and plastic surgery-addled visage might just be the perfect symbol for the hollow, Los Angeles desperation Ellis portrays so well in his writing. She’s like a walking, talking, indictment of the American dream! And Deen is probably used to making out with collagen-injected lips, so it should be familiar territory for him. Maybe he’ll even get her some contacts in the industry for when mainstream film directors finally stop hiring her. It would be nice for her to have that as a fallback option, in any case.

(Via Vulture)

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