So unless you’re allergic to the internet and you don’t look at the covers of magazines in news stands, you know that on May 31st, Liam Hemsworth proposed to Miley Cyrus, his girlfriend of three years. He did so with a 3.5 karat diamond ring, which got me thinking…Miley is nineteen years old and Liam is twenty-two; normally at those ages, people are either in college or working one or two entry-level jobs, just scraping by. I’ve never known anyone personally who got married that young, but if I were to get engaged right now, there wouldn’t be a whole lot of hoopla. I’m currently single, so I’d be engaged to myself, for one, but either way it would be super small and intimate. Why? Because that’s all I could afford. And I’m five years older than Miley. But this bride and groom are both highly successful performers with millions of dollars at their disposal, so let’s take a look at the 19 Differences Between Miley’s Engagement And A Regular 19-Year Old’s.
- Her parents are actually down with it.
- She’s (probably) not knocked up.
- Neither Liam nor Miley works at a Stop’n'Shop.
- Or has ever been inside a Stop’n'Shop.
- The ring wasn’t a Ring Pop…it was the behemoth to your right.
- They didn’t meet in highschool.
- Did they even go to highschool?
- The groom’s brother will actually be present at the wedding since he isn’t in jail…he’s in movies. Oh and he’s Chris Hemsworth.
- The wedding pictures will be in People Magazine, not JC Penney.
- Miley and Liam aren’t cousins.
- Or second cousins.
- Or third cousins.
- The bride’s dress will be based on the sheet she wore on the cover of Vanity Fair.
- Liam has an Australian accent, not a Southern one.
- They can afford to have Billy Ray Cyrus play their wedding reception. In fact, I don’t know that they could pay him enough not to play at it.
- The cake will be made of money and filled with dreams and flecked with tiny flakes of delicious gold.
- The wedding guests will still have all their teeth because…
- …the wedding will be held someplace beautiful. Aka not a trailer park.
- Human beings actually give a crap that these two are getting married. Myself unfortunately included.
And there you have it: 19 Reasons this engagement is nothing like a normal nineteen19-year old’s engagement. Also, in related news, let’s all take a moment to weep for our sad sad lives, from which Liam Hemsworth was taken far too soon.