So it’s episode 17 in the 7th season (lucky number 7!) of Bravo’s wonderful series, The Real Housewives of Orange County. This episode is entitled “Monkey Business,” and I’m being picky but let me just say, there was not enough footage of monkeys. I needed more monkeys. Anyway, this episode picks up right where we left off with everyone ganging up on how horrible of a person Alexis is. She tries to defend herself (and does say some things that make sense), but she is no match for the meanest and most shallow woman ever, Tamra. Alexis calls her “mean and hateful”, which isn’t far off. Tamra is just looking for a fight. Vicki is the voice of reason and says that everyone is phony on some level while Gretchen is useless and Heather kind of tries to play both sides. This episode left me wondering how shallow and vapid humans can really be! How uplifting! Let me get into my burning questions!
1. Is everyone phony on some level?
While Alexis is getting attacked for being this horrible and “phony” person, Vicki chimes in and claims that on some level, every person is phony. I don’t disagree with this notion. I think that it’s hard to go through life without putting a bit of a façade up and not being ones true self. It’s hard to be who you are deep down with every single person you come across in your life. All these women are attacking poor Alexis for not being “real” and pardon my French, but this is bullshit. All these women (with their Botox, fake breasts, and lip injections) point the finger at Alexis and call her fake. How hypocritical. Stop telling this woman to “be real” when you can’t remember your original hair color. Pathetic.
2. Did Gretchen defend Alexis at the dinner?
I don’t recall one time in the dinner (maybe this is editing’s fault) where Gretchen stood up for Alexis. They are supposed to close friends and best buddies, but when Heather and Tamra attack Alexis for being “inauthentic,” Gretchen kind of chimes in with her own softer opinions of the same topic. If you’re a true friend to someone, you stick up for them no matter what. Remember that lyric from that one Train song? “Ya best friend always stickin’ up for you, even when I know you’re wrong!” That is true friendship, guys. You accept your friend for who they are (fake wedding rings included!) and defend their honor. And while Gretchen can sit at that dinner table and say that she “defended Alexis to the death”, she is full of it, and seems to go where the power is. Can I also mention how unfair it is that Gretchen is mad at Alexis? Gretchen, you did not stand up for her at all. You walked the line and were very careful with your words. If someone were attacking my best friend, I would murder him or her with a rusty knife. THAT IS FRIENDSHIP. Gretchen sucks.