Whew! We made it through season 4 of MTV’s reality staple 16 and Pregnant. We met cage fighters and diabetics and shared the girls’ grief with drug-addicted moms and dead fiancés. And now, it’s time for the finale special Life After Labor, where Dr. Drew gleefully gets to take the stage and poke into the teen moms’ post-reality-TV lives. Seriously, with Celebrity Rehab on hiatus, he can barely contain his judgments and unwarranted advice.
Dr. Drew interviewed eight of the twelve girls featured this season (more on that later), and even though we watched all of their episodes, it was hard to keep them all straight. So we figured the easiest way was to assign superlatives—you know, the way they do in high-school yearbooks. Since many of these girls won’t graduate from high school and get that fun honor anyway. Egads.
Most Existential Reunion: Briana Dejesus
Briana was one of the most controversial teen moms this season, what with babydaddy Devoin tricking her into keeping her baby by glamorizing pregnancy, her reunion was pretty low-key. That said, it brought up a lot of deep topics. Briana’s mom Roxanne and sister Brittany were there, and Dr. Drew made sure to ask Brittany about her tough decision to get an abortion. She said that as much as she loved her niece, you can imagine how she would have loved her own child, but it just wasn’t the right decision.
Then out came Devoin, who’s still at odds with Briana. She accuses him of not taking time to see their daughter Nova Star; he claims to work 24/7 when really he’s at work only two days a week. But what he said was strangely deep: ”I don’t have a close relationship to my daughter, I don’t know who I am.” So Dr. Drew gave them an assignment: Spend all day with Nova, maybe at the zoo. OK, then.
Most Bizarre Birth Control Situation: Lindsey Harrison
I never knew this when watching aspiring cage fighter Lindsey’s episode, but apparently her birth control and health insurance all came from some Catholic insurance company. Because they were more than happy to pay the $12,000 for her to have a baby, but then and now they won’t front her the $100 a month for pills.
When asked how she would talk to her daughter Aniyah about sex ed when she turns 16, Lindsey said, ”I would get her on birth control as soon as she starts her period.” Just make sure it doesn’t come from a religious institution!
Most Oblivious: Mackenzie Douthit
Even back in her episode, we saw signs of Mackenzie not being able to keep in touch with reality: She at first joked about her pregnancy, and talked about how she was worried that gaining weight would keep her from cheering. (Not to mention, you know, the little blob she was birthing.) But when Dr. Drew asked if she’s using birth control now, she hesitantly replied, ”I don’t like birth control. I don’t like getting pregnant, either, but…”
She definitely doesn’t want a kid, but she finds every excuse not to explore her other options. Her babydaddy Josh is apparently allergic to latex, but they haven’t switched to polyurethane condoms, either. ”We haven’t had an ‘oopsie’ since the baby’s been born, but I don’t know how much longer that’s gonna last,” she said. “My mom and I have talked about it; she wants me to be on birth control just in case, but she thinks it’ll give us an excuse to have sex all the time.”