I’m sure you guys remember that Kanye West is good at everything, right? Right. Actually, I want to make sure I’m accurate — you remember that he’s the best at everything, right? We’ve made that agreement that no one can get any more Grammys except for him, and he totes has the best taste in women, which he’s proved to us by dating a bald stripper and a Kim Kardashian.
Well with so many talents, it’s easy to forget sometimes that one of the things he’s the best at is fashion. Kanye has made a new fashion, and it is a really good fashion, so I can’t wait for you to see it. It’s an oddly-shaped house for your oddly-shaped foot and it’s called the Nike Air Yeezy II. ‘Yeezy’ is a nickname that other rich, important people like Drake and Chris Brown get to call Kanye, so it’s clear to me that if you buy these sneaks, you get invited into Yeezy’s inner circle. Which is scientifically the best place to be.
As far as the shoes, even poor people are allowed to buy them, but its intended user seems to be a rich, famous person with five pointed corns on the back of each foot and unruly toes that like to hop out of shoes — thus the heavy-duty strap. There is also waffle detailing on the side, because a. Waffles are the best food and b. Eating them makes you jump higher. Don’t eat the shoes, though. Only Kanye is allowed to do that.
Kanye couldn’t be reached for comment, largely because we didn’t try, but if we had, we imagine he would’ve said:
“Air Jordans, I’m real happy for you, and I’ma let you finish, but Air Yeezy’s are the best shoes of all time. OF ALL TIME.”
Enjoy your new fashion. Kanye made it especially for you and it doesn’t look at all ridiculous.