• Sat, May 26 2012

Anne Hathaway Is Living Every Girl’s Dream: Her Ex-Boyfriend Has Been Deported

Remember when Anne Hathaway dated that super sweet Italian fella, Raffaello Follieri? Remember how, in addition to being super sweet, he was a do-gooder and claimed to be CFO to the Vatican? Oh, but then it was discovered that he was far from doing anything good, lied about his career and swindled investors out of more than $3.6 million with his church-buying scheme? Remember that?

After pleading guilty to conspiracy, wire fraud, and money laundering back in 2008, the conman has been doing time behind bars at a federal prison in Pennsylvania. But yesterday, as TMZ learned, Follieri has been freed from one jail only to head to another: Italy. Uh-oh. Actually, Italy is far from a jail (have you been to Venice?), but when you’re being forced back to your home country by the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement against your will, it’s not exactly the most romantic of situations. Yes, upon release, Follieri was immediately deported back to his native Italy without the option to return to the States. That’s what happens when you fuck with us: you fuck with us, we fuck with you.

But let’s get back to Anne who is newly engaged and going on with her life, shall we? As they say, there is no better revenge than great success and that’s exactly what Anne has. After having the wool pulled over her eyes and having her heart broken by the lying bastard, Anne gets to have the last laugh as her ex-boyfriend was shipped on out of the country. If only the rest of us could be so lucky.

Just think about how awesome it would be if you never ever had to worry about running into your ex because he’s on the other side of the Atlantic! Not only that, but he has to stay there. It’s not as though he’s simply on vacay, he’s there for good! No more fear of seeing him at the local Starbucks, no more awkward waves or head nods should you pass him on the street, no more “go fuck yourself” facial expressions when you run into him at your favorite bar where he shouldn’t be anyway — it’s all gone! Gone!

Now let’s take it down a notch and celebrate for Anne and anyone else who’s ever had an ex deported with Gloria Gaynor‘s “I Will Survive.” Whoever said disco was dead was a liar just like Follieri. Pfft.

 

You can reach this post's author, Amanda Chatel, on twitter.
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