A Guy Says: Lea Michele Reminds Us That You Need To Show Your Boobs To Be Successful

The other day I was watching Late Night with David Letterman when Glee star Lea Michele came on for an interview and her boobs came so far out of her dress that they were nearly popping out of my television into my living room.  First, I thought, “I finally see the worth of 3D television.” Then, I thought, “Didn’t Miley Cyrus do this eight times last week?” And, she did.  Then, I saw Zac Efron sporting an old-man mustache that was thick enough to make any 13-year-old jealous.  It made me nostalgic for my youth really because I felt like these people were 15 years old three days ago, and now, they’re showing off their mature breasts and elderly mustaches.

These kids are becoming adults and I think they’re doing a great job with the process.  Everyone knows you can’t be taken seriously as an adult until people see your boobs tumbling out of your shirt and until your mustache makes you look like the star of several adult films.  At least, that’s what they told me at my Bar Mitzvah.  I remember the rabbi ending the ceremony so elegantly and poignantly when he said, “Harry, now you are a man.  Show the congregation your junk.”

Could you argue that Lea Michele and Miley Cyrus, two former role models, are teaching our nation’s young girls that you have to show some boob to impress people?  That you can’t get anywhere without exposing a little chest?  Maybe.  But, someone had to tell them.  They were going to learn anyway.  I mean, isn’t that the American Dream really?  Isn’t that the promise we all grow up on?  That you can work hard, bring yourself up from nothing, work diligently through hardship, and when that doesn’t work just expose yourself to someone and get into Yale.

Maybe that’s the key to this country’s economic troubles?  Normally, when you get rejected from job after job, you become frustrated and you give up on yourself.  But sending a picture of your nipples with a PDF of your resume could be your ticket to success.  That’s how I’ve gotten all the jobs, I’ve ever had.  And all the restraining orders.  After all, recently, nobody cared what Miley Cyrus was doing until she started motor boating the public.  She gets it.  Did she rest on her natural talent or her vast network of contacts?  No.  She didn’t sit around and wait for the media to come to her.  She went to them with her shirt off.

And could Lea Michele, one of our generation’s most talented singers, gone on Letterman and been smart and witty.  Of course, she could have.  But she’s a performer, and the greatest, most natural performers never, ever, rest on their laurels.  Think of all of those times we’ve seen Aretha Franklin belting out Natural Woman with her skirt near her ass and her boobs falling to the floor like fleshy drapes.  It happened all the time.

I’m still a little skeptical though.  I think these celebrities can learn a lot from each other.  If Zac, Lea, and Miley really want to be taken seriously they should take on each others’ adult attributes.  Lea can take Zac’s mustache, Miley can take Lea’s cleavage, and Zac can take Lea’s cleavage and Miley’s sideboob and keep the mustache.  Then, I’d be able to take them seriously as mature adults because being an adult is all about making responsible decision like, say, going on national television with your boobs out.

 

You can reach this post's author, Harry Barron, on twitter.
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    • Samantha

      I think this entire article is ridiculous. Lea Michele is a beauty and the times when she does promote herself she does it by trying to relate to her fans and extolling characteristics about herself that shes proud of: her confidence drive passion etc. Shes a great talent and she sings her ass off which is why its just laughable that you would compare her to miley Cyrus. When I saw this dress I thought “wow that’s an unusually buxom dress for her but way to go lea!” Shes a fully grown woman who works hard to keep fit by exercising and eating right and she can wear a sexier dress if she wants to. It doesn’t change the fact that shes overwhelmingly a positive role model.

      The real problem with your criticism is that you have no respect for estimation of or expectation of young fans. Just because I admire lea’s talent and positivity doesn’t mean shes some kind of Bible for my life and even though Im 21 the same ablity to make sound personal decisions should be expected of any member of her younger audience. The difference between what is appropriate for a 13-year-old and a 25-year-old is obvious; lea Michele shouldn’t have to take it into account when she gets dressed. When I was 12 and saw Britney spears parade around in hot pants I wanted to do the same but I didn’t. My parents had parental controls and that’s where this kind of responsibility lies if teens aren’t mature enough to make wise decisions about how they dress.

      The zac Efron comparison is so far out of left field and is so erroneous that I’m not even going to go into it; just get back to me when you see a 13-year-old boy walking down the street sporting a handlebar mustache. There are celebrities that are terrible role models but the two aforementioned aren’t among them.

    • Jimi

      Lea was successful before she has boobs.

      Or you can see them as strong women who are proud of their bodies.

      I thought Lea was charming, witty plus sexy.

    • Kelsey

      I’m obsessed with Lea Michele, her voice, her looks, Spring Awakening, Glee…pretty much anything relating to her. But I agreed girl is trying wayyy too hard with the “I’m not a nerdy high school girl like Rachel I’m actually a sex symbol” thing