First the To Catch a Predator mustache, and now this: One of the strangest stories to come out of Cannes is about The Paperboy, Lee Daniels‘ campy drama where Nicole Kidman‘s sexual-obsessive character apparently pees on Zac Efron. Yep, you heard that right—Zac gets peed on, and it doesn’t sound sexy at all.
Entertainment Weekly called the novel on which this movie is based “eerie and beautiful,” but Daniels’ adaptation sounds like it’s veering more for the utterly bizarre. The general gist is this: Two brothers (Zac and Matthew McConaughey) use Kidman’s character to get close to a death row inmate (John Cusack) who she’s been sending love letters to. But at the same time, Zac falls for Kidman—and who wouldn’t, when she’s got blonde extensions, a spray-tan addiction, and skintight minidresses?
Vulture got the lowdown on this pivotal scene at the screening: Zac and Nicole go frolicking on the beach, only for him to get attacked by a ton of CGI jellyfish. Writhing on the sand from a dizzying array of stings, he thinks he won’t make it, until Kidman’s character stands over him, hikes up her skirt (easy enough), and yells, “If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me!” And yes, you see the piss stream that splashes into poor Zac’s face and chest. Kidman wasn’t clear if it were hers; obviously she doesn’t want to lose out on her chance for an Oscar like poor Michael Fassbender in Shame.
To review: The Paperboy is directed by the man who directed the Oscar-nominated Precious. It stars the man who could be the next Ryan Gosling if he gets his whole sexy PR plan back on track, as well as the woman who was radiant ten years ago in Moulin Rouge! Are they all playing some trick on us, or legitimately trying for a daring new film? I don’t know if a golden shower is enough to convince me.