I watch Real Housewives of New Jersey for the same twisted reason I watch Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms. There’s something oddly satisfying about watching horrible parents attempt to raise their children on reality TV. The real housewives of New Jersey excel at messing up their children, so obviously I excel at making sure I watch it every week.
Even Caroline Manzo who comes off as the most stable and sane raised three children who throw ham at each other and aspire to build stripper car washes. No one watching this should ever look to these women as parenting role models.
This week Jacqueline Laurita is fighting with Teresa Giudice about who’s the worst mother and I’d like to settle it by saying they’re both the worst mother. Seriously, if there’s some special day that’s the opposite of Mother’s Day, they would celebrate it.
During last week’s episode Gia Giudice threw a temper tantrum about losing a competition and Teresa handled it in the same dramatic way she handles all her problems. She reassured Gia that everyone else was wrong and the adults shouldn’t have said anything to her about what was happening. Then she proceeded to tell Jacqueline that she really shouldn’t speak when it comes to parenting techniques because she’s Ashlee Holmes’ mother. And we all know Ashlee Holmes is the worst!
Naturally Jacqueline responded via her Bravo blog by saying that she found Teresa’s remarks to be rude. And while she’s right to call Teresa rude, Teresa’s not wrong.
I mean it when I say Ashlee Holmes is one of the worst people to ever star on reality TV. She’s an ungrateful, overgrown teenager who genuinely does not seem to believe she should work. Especially when partying is sooo much more fun. I hope for her sake that her bratty schitck’s all some big elaborate act to get cast on a VH1 reality show. If she’s really like that in real life…may God help us all.
But calling out Jacqueline for raising the She-Devil doesn’t mean Teresa’s a good mother. Watch ANY clip of her children and you’ll see they’re lacking in general manners and self-control. I mean, have you seen Milania Giudice lately? I think the six-year-old’s one episode away from setting fire to her house.
So let’s settle this public dispute by all agreeing they’re both horrible mothers.
Now let’s talk about something more exciting: Joe Giudice and his need to be topless in every scene. #Unnecessary.