• Wed, May 23 2012

6 Burning Questions I Have After Watching Real Housewives of Orange County

3. Does Alexis really design and make every dress 100% by herself?

Does she do the sketches? Does she sew each stich? Does she add every piece of gratuitous sequin? I don’t think she does, guys. So when Alexis (who couldn’t even correctly define the word “couture”) claims that her dress line is 100% done by her, I spit up a little bit of my Diet Coke. You’re kidding me, right? Why would she even make that claim?! You’re the next Katie Keurig, Alexis, you don’t need to be behind a sewing machine! (I will never get sick of that/Stop using it as a joke in these posts).

4. Is Gretchen’s voicemail for real?

Gretchen’s voicemail talks about how she is super hard to get a hold of and that if you really need to get a hold of her, you should call Slade. Ewwww. What? Talk about a co-dependent relationship! If I ever had that as my voicemail message, my friends would leave me messages like, “Um…no, you idiot. This is a message for you and only you. Stop being a weirdo and answer your phone. I’m not going to you’re your boyfriend.” We’re a tough love kind of bunch like that. Basically, I cannot deal with Gretchen’s voicemail directing people who want to talk to her to call her boyfriend. I’m saddened by this for so many reasons.

 5. Is couples therapy productive for people who aren’t married?

 I’m really skeptical about therapy in general. I’m not going to knock it down and say it’s a crock because everyone copes with things in their own way. I think that personal one-on-one sessions with a trained professional can be greatly beneficial for someone who is dealing with emotional distress. When it comes to couples therapy, I feel like I have a different spin. I understand why people who are married seek counseling. They are married. They are bound together by law and vows and commitment. I just think that people who are just boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn’t be going to therapy sessions together unless there was a huge tragedy or something. (See: Catelyn and Tyler from Teen Mom) I don’t think Slade’s financial issues count, but that’s just me.

 6. Are you Team Alexis or Team Tamra?

Tamra is such a mean girl. I think that if Tamra was in my circle of “friends”, I would be terrified of her. She really great with her words and quick comebacks, and sometimes she is brutally honest. She also had mean eyes. Does that make sense? I feel like her eyes could shoot out fire and burn me to a crisp. When it comes to Alexis, I feel so bad for her. She is a little slower with the comebacks, and seems so much softer than the other women. She’s a Midwestern girl (represent), and I feel like she has a bit of a kinder side that the other women don’t possess because of too many years of living in that California sun. Tamra keeps saying that Alexis is “fake” and “shallow” and “stupid”, but I just don’t see it. Is it jealousy? Is it just a clash of personalities? It looks like in the next episode that Alexis gets completely ambushed and attacked by all the other women, and I am NOT okay with this. Andy Cohen! Step in and save my poor Alexis!

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