Lea Michele wants you to know she’s sexy. She’s oozing sex. Seriously, someone grab a towel because that is sex appeal dripping off her body onto the floor. It’s soaking the floor. That’s how sexy Lea Michele wants you to think she is when she’s away from Glee. That’s why she wore a cleavage-framing dress on The Late Show With Dave Letterman last night.
Her boobs are practically tweeting out, “LOOK AT ME! WE ARE BOOBS! ON LEA MICHELE!” Her areolas are surely struggling to make their own cameo. Just a peak. Just a quick little look out at the audience to say hi.
But, despite all the effort to showcase her sexy boobs in her sexy dress, she doesn’t look all that sexy to me. It’s like the girl in middle school who thought she would be the most desirable girl in 7th grade just because she bought the shortest jorts that Wet Seal sold. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.
You have to actually be sexy to be sexy. I know that’s like a riddle straight out of an intern’s article submission to Cosmo. But it completely makes sense when you think about it. The sexiest people are the people who just are sexy. They’re not the people who appear to put hours into their appearance to look sexy. Buying a well-fitted dress that shows off your curves is sexy. Buying a dress that puts your boobs on display isn’t. Just like in middle school, trying too hard still isn’t cool — and in the case of Lea Michele it still isn’t sexy.
I know Lea wants to break out of her Glee typecasting. She’s been wanting to do that since that infamous “surprisingly sexy” underwear photo shoot in GQ all the way back in 2010. But she needs to find a better way to do that. A way that doesn’t involve inviting her boobs to every public appearance. No one likes a third wheel, even if it comes with nipples.