We figured that Chloe Sevigny has the cushiest transsexual role in pop culture right now: She’ll be playing stylish assassin Mia on DirecTV’s new series Hit & Miss. But it turns out the role had some trauma attached, mostly in the form of the fake penis that Chloe, playing a pre-op transsexual, had to wear. She told Australia’s Daily Telegraph that it took ninety minutes to get it fitted, a distressing experience that had her thinking she’d never be attractive again:
“I cried every day when they put it on. You know, I’m ample-chested and I have this on. I felt very exposed, and it was hard, very hard, having people so close to your personal parts anyway — who you’re not sleeping with — for an hour-and-a-half each day, to put it on.
“Then looking in the mirror… it was weird. I was lonely and I felt really unattractive. I was confused about my desirability — was I desirable? — in having put that on, and having men see me with that on.”
Of course, whenever an actress complains about feeling unattractive you have to take it with a big grain of salt. You would think that because Chloe is involved in every step of this TV-making process — that is, knowing that the penis is a prosthetic and being there when it’s put on — she wouldn’t be so worried about how she looks with it.
However, she could also just be doing some method acting in preparation for some of Hit & Miss‘ more powerful scenes. Coincidentally, Guardian.co.uk put up an article today discussing the show’s nude scenes and how necessary it is that we the audience see Mia standing naked in front of a mirror: Because she is continually tracking her body’s transformations, we have to check in with the incongruity of her breasts and penis as often as she does. And that’s worth some discomfort on both sides.