Remember when Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville ran into homewrecker LeAnn Rimes at her son’s soccer game and everyone wondered what dark thoughts were lurking beneath her impressively cool exterior? Based on the evidence, I assumed she was thinking about making a xylophone out of Rimes’ bones and playing it with her other bones, because duh. And as it turns out, I was basically right!
In a new interview with Australia’s HQ Magazine, the Real Housewife opens up about the murderous thoughts running through her head on that misleadingly sunny day:
I remember walking up to soccer practice and there she was with my baby in her lap…My blood was boiling, and I thought I was going to kill her. I really thought I was going to physically hurt her. But that was the first time I saw her that way — she was sitting in my soccer chair, under my tent, she’s got my kid on her lap and she’s with my husband, and that was that little moment of total irrational fury.
Did you really have to add insult to injury by sitting in her special chair, LeAnn? Not cool.
Brandi says she’s since calmed down about it, but that didn’t stop a million gossip blogs (including this one) from picking up the story, because murder is exciting. Thoughts of murder? We’ll take it. This prompted her to issue the following clarification via Twitter (read bottom to top):
So basically, her story is exactly the same as it was the first time, only with more grammar and spelling errors. Good to know.
There’s also the buried lede of her bisexual dalliances, which up until now have mainly existed in the realm of rumor:
“I’ve done that: I like tuna — it’s fine — but it’s not my thing,” she said. “I definitely need c**k in my life.”
This seems to contradict a tweet she sent back in November:
I know sexuality is an evanescent and complex 3D spectrum, but I’m pretty sure if a woman likes both “tuna” (ew) and “c**k”, she is at least a little bit bisexual.