Is it horrible that this wild, unsubstantiated rumor about another Real Housewife of New Jersey going bankrupt has me giddy with glee. No? Great. Then I feel totally okay sharing this wild rumor with you.
According to Stoopid Housewives, another Real Housewife of New Jersey is going to file for bankruptcy. The keyword being another. So we can rule out Teresa Giudice and start debating whether it’s Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Kathy Wakile or Melissa Gorga.
As much as I’d love to see Kathy Wakile file for bankruptcy, leave the show and return home to Boringville, I think it’s Melissa Gorga. Let me explain my reasoning, then you can tell me if you agree with my logic.
It’s a fact that the Gorgas just put their 3.8 million dollar Montville home on the market. It’s rumored that they want to move to L.A so Melissa can pursue her “singing career.” Unless Melissa Gorga’s completely delusional about her singing talents, that seems like an incredibly stupid move. Also she’s worked so hard to get on Caroline Manzo’s good side. Why destroy her relationship with a local mob boss?
“I’m a builder. I custom-built the houses we have lived in and will do the same with our next one. We tried Montville, but it just wasn’t for us. We want to go back to Franklin Lakes, which is closer to where I work, and we’re looking at a couple of properties now.”
So it’s very plausible that the Gorgas are leaving their mega mansion because they’re going to file for bankruptcy. And wouldn’t that be the ironic cherry we need on top of our Jersey sundae. Melissa and Joe Gorga spend so much time making fun of Joe Giudice for going bankrupt that it would just be so so delicious if they went bankrupt too.
But like I said earlier, it’s a completely unsubstantiated rumor. Until we see them downsize from their mega mansion to a one room hovel, we won’t know if it’s true. All we will know is that bankrupt or not, Joe’s got a lot of poison he needs to get out of his body. I know, that was a gross image. I’m sorry.