Those following Kris Jenner‘s twitter closely (WHY?) might have noticed some uncharacteristically gross tweets coming from her last night, and I don’t mean “gross” in the attention-whoring way that she is usually gross. I mean gross like poop.
The toilet talk kicked off around midnight with a tweet about how she, momager Kris Jenner, had just “sharted”:
She then provided a bit more evocative detail, for anyone having trouble picturing the extent to which Kris Jenner had sharted:
Next, she tweeted a photo of herself with the caption “#shitfaced,” which perfectly captures the face Kris Jenner might make, should she shart herself:
There was also a photo of actual poop, but I’m not posting that.
These tweets managed to elicit positive feedback about how she was “so down to Earth,” but alas, the charade couldn’t last. The real Kris signed in to say she’d been “hacked,” most likely by her kids Kendall and Kylie or her son-in-law Scott IsADick. (I’m guessing all they had to do to “hack in” was use her computer or phone when she wasn’t looking.) Kourtney jumped in to korroborate:
Perhaps in a fit of passive aggressiveness, Kris then re-tweeted an exhortation to visit Scott Disick’s restaurant, because who wouldn’t want to eat at a restaurant owned by someone who’s obsessed with sharts?
This little incident was hardly the most sophisticated humor, but it makes me think Kylie and Kendall Jenner might be normal teenagers, after all. They clearly chose sharts because they go against the trashy/glam-y Kardashian brand so thoroughly, to which I say: nice going, kids. To further rebel against your momager, might I suggest growing some devilocks and forming an un-listenable grindcore band called Shart Brigade? Let’s see her try to commodify that.