Rumors About Harry Styles Leaving One Direction Are Forcing Me To Evaluate All My Recent Life Choices

Moments ago someone in the office casually mentioned that one of the boys from One Direction might be leaving to go solo.

“WHO!” I demanded to know as all the boys flashed through my head. Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Harry Styles.

“Harry Something,” she responded nonchalantly.

“HARRY STYLES!?!” I screamed in horror.

“It disgusts me that you know his full name,” she responded.

“It disgusts me that you don’t,” I muttered softly under my breath as I clutched my homemade Harry Styles doll closer to my chest. My chest heaved up and down as stress tremors raced through my body. My heartbeat quickened and my blood pressure soared. Could Harry Styles, “the hot one,” really be leaving the band?

My hands shook as I googled, “Harry Styles leaving One Direction broken heart kill me now.” Results flooded in. Tears flooded out.

Could this news really be causing this physical reaction in my body? Where did calm, rational, age-appropriate-interests Jenni go? When did I put my metaphorical braces back on and get sucked back into the world of boy bands and teen heart throbs?

I took a deep breath and tried to step back from the situation. What started as simply reporting on the latest trends turned into a full on obsesssion. I could look at One Direction gif after One Direction gif after One Direction gif. Even though I knew it was wrong. Even though I knew that the only other people clicking on these gifs were doing it from their 7th grade homerooms.

And now, after this news and my subsequent reactoin, I’ve realized it’s time to dial it back on the 1D love. Maybe focus a little more on musicians going after my demo. Like Yanni and Frankie Avalon. I’m too young to have a stroke over teenage boys, yet too old to know the full names of teenage boys.

Or maybe not.  don’t know, II just can’t resist Harry’s hair. I’m going to have wean myself off of them slowly. Like a teenage girl going through puberty. It will be awkward and uncomfortable and ultimately fulfilling.

Oh and for those of you who read this article only to find out about the rumor. His rep (thankfully) squashed it pretty fast.

After their lightning-fast rise to fame, the boys of One Direction are already facing breakup rumors, with member Harry Styles‘ latest travel itinerary suggesting he’s on the lookout for a solo career, according to the Daily Star. “[Harry's] been offered a big solo project, so he flew out to Los Angeles without the rest of the boy band,” a source says. “He’s been in America filming something. It may have been an advert or a film — I can’t say exactly what — but it’s worth a lot of money.” But a rep for the boy band is quick to quash the rumors, saying the trip wasn’t for business at all. “This report is false. Harry was on vacation in L.A.,” their rep tells Hollyscoop.

Sighs of relief all around.

(Photo: The Hot Hits)

Share This Post:
    • Kay

      I love Harry he’s so cute!

      • Kiana Gawa

        ikr he is soo fucking hot but he is mine forever

    • hannah

      no what the hell are u doing ur like brothers don’t do that to harm ur friend ship!!!! please just stay with ur band for ur fans

    • Christina

      Harry isn’t leaving his mom confirmed that on twitter

    • camila

      a mi me gusta one direction juntos no separados si se separan van a perder fans y se van a armar peleas por saber quienes son los mejores, no entre ellos entre las fans.
      esto no puede pasar
      no harry no porfavor hacelo por tus fans no te separes de la banda

    • Anonymous, bitch.

      You are ridiculous. This is another ridiculous rumour. None of the boys want to leave. They said it themselves. Besides, even Modest Management confirmed that they don’t want to leave. Your argument is invalid.

    • Mary

      Harry will not leave one direction because if he does I will chase him with carrots and spoons then he will be so scared that he will have no choice but to stay.

    • jackie


    • Directioner no.1

      It’s just someone seeking attention.
      That’s what directionaters do to upset
      Fans. Harry won’t quit 1D!!!

    • Kiana Gawa

      heey whats up i like this song and Harry Louis you are so hot and Cute i love your Singing it sounds cute i love you soo much i want you to call me at 2502300302 love you

    • Kiana Gawa

      heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey harry you are mine forever loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu lotssssssssssssssssssss yea babe and you mine and only mine ok

    • Lauren

      i think he is, my nana was reading a magazine and it had it in it!

    • Lyssa

      okay this is a lie and harry is obviously not leaving cuz anyone who likes their band would know that their working on another album..and harry styles is my husband and i love him more than anyone else in the world<3333 hehehe

    • Cate

      Harry isn’t leaving! 1. They have a new album 2. They have a tour 3. His mom confirmed he isn’t on twitter. And besides Harry and I are getting married so yah:)

    • madison34

      I feel like a pedophile but that kid is adorable. If I was 15..

    • hannah

      harry is NOT leaving 1D i would have heard about it if harry is reading this harry u r fit even though im 12 and hes 19 i dont give 1