Today I received an email from my good frenemies over at In Touch with the subject line “Drake‘s Romancing Two Cougars.” While I knew what they meant, the image above is the first thing that popped into my head.
Can you imagine!? What if Drake really was romancing wild cougars. And what if he was doing it with a stereotypical Valentine’s Day basket. That would be such poorly targeted romancing. I mean, they’re wild animals. I doubt they want candy. They probably want raw meat and dead zebra chips and whatever else turns cougars on.
Also it would be in very poor taste to romance TWO cougars at once. Then you’re just asking for it. It, of course, meaning death. You’d be asking to be mauled by a cougar if you flirted with another one right in front of her face. That’s just rude.
Unfortunately for my wild (literally) imagination, this email’s actually referring to Drake possibly dating Rashida Jones and Tyra Banks. And serioulsly, I think after reading that, we can ALL agree that my original version of the story’s much more exciting.