• Wed, May 9 2012

Rihanna Has A New Clothing Line In The Works, Continuing Her Quest To Define The Term ‘Oversaturation

In case you guys forgot, Rihanna exists. She is a very popular and current musical artist, and she is everywhere all the time. According to these true facts that I just made up, a Rihanna song is playing on the radio every 0.29 seconds and approximately six out of every humans has one of her songs stuck in their head right now.

Also she’s starring in the upcoming film Battleship, which is a great place to start your career, as everyone knows that the best movies are based on Hasbro games. I personally am holding back from accepting a feature film role until they write that screenplay for ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’ that I keep pestering them about. (I’m going to be the hungry hungry one.)

Regardless, she’s in a movie, she comes out with like two albums a year, and for every eight magazines that are printed, her face is legally required to appear on the cover of at least eight. Those are more of my facts from my fact-checking website that doesn’t exist because it’s a lie.

And now she’s starting a fashion line, just like every other celebrity who’s looking for new ways to make some easy money off of us huddled masses. Although apparently we can rest easy because she says,

“I want to earn it. So I’m working with designers, designers that I respect and [fashion] companies that I respect. I want people to really trust me before I just say, ‘Buy it because it’s mine.’”

Well phew. That’s a relief. I personally was planning on stumbling blindly out to the nearest RihannaShop (oh trust me, they’re coming), shoving my hand in a rack, and grabbing at hangers until I slipped into a soothing shopping black-out just because these are clothes made by Rihanna, so she has touched them and been near them and made them holy.
Or I guess I could also just wait and see if I like them first. But only because she told me to.
(Photo: popcrush.com)
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