• Mon, May 7 2012

It’s Never Too Early In The Morning To See Mark Wahlberg’s Penis

Seriously, I mean it when I say that it’s never to early to see Mark Wahlberg’s penis. I can’t think of any time of the day that I’d be like, “nah, no thanks. Hold that thought for after I eat my breakfast.” We’re talking about Marky Mark here.

That’s why it was such a pleasure and delight to find out that the former New Kid on the Block star pulled a Zac Efron and made a few phone calls in his underwear on the balcony this weekend.

He’s currently in Miami filming the the comedy Pain and Gain with the The Rock. Because that’s still happening. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s still trying to make this acting thing happen. Good for him I guess. Keep on chugging Dwayne. You’ll be a movie star in no time.

Mark first stepped out onto his hotel balcony in grey shorts — and then realizing that’s a horrible photo opp, took those shorts off and just posed in his black underwear. Made a phone call or two,  posed seductively and then went back inside his hotel room.

All in a day’s work for Marky Mark. Say hello to your mother for me. That’s a hip thing to say right? Say yes, it’s all I know about Mark Wahlberg circa 2012.

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  • James

    Aww look at the. Jenni maier thinks she’s gonna get marky marks attention. Little does she know that mark whalberg doesn’t f**k losers. Sorry jenni but you’re gonna have to stick to the pimply faced losers that you in lens crafters. I assume that’s where you got those lame emo scene kid sunglasses of yours? Or maybe one of your fellow dullards that support whatever asinine drivel that you pump out on a daily basis that you out zero thought into. Kinda like your old lady.

    Ps: tell Ma Maier that, that ole battle axe left her panties in my hotel room last night :)

    • TheSKyver

      James are you implying to me that you bagged jenni maier’s mom last night? That’s really not an impossible feat seeing as how jenni’s mom kind of resembles her crushable readers. Inept impressionable and prone to believe anything you shat out.

    • Naomi

      If you’re going to write comments everyday on this site calling out people for being stupid, you might as well do it with proper grammar and spelling.

    • James

      Actually Naomi, the point of this post wasn’t to call Jenni Maier an idiot (even though it’s true) but to imply that her mother is a street tricking Sl*t. If you are gonna play the grammar card like every other unoriginal jack off on the internet, at least do so with sounding like you have a serious reading impediment. Your GED will only get you so far.

    • Joe Chief

      Naomi I was going to call you out for being a grade school dropout with a kindergarten reading level, but that would be giving you too much credit. There’s no shame in prostitution at all. Like Jame’s said. Jenni Maier’s mom seems to enjoy it. You want Fi Dolla ? All you gotta do is get on your knees. I’m sure you’re use to hear that though :)

    • Miss Common Sense

      Grammar insults? Really? This is the best that you guys can come up with? No wonder you guys like Jenni Maier. You’re just as unoriginal as she is :)

  • Lexi

    He knows paps can see him right? He has to know that.

    • JoeChief

      Oh I’m sure he knows that. Just like we know Jenni Maier’s readers generally consist of high school dropouts with a third grade reading level. Maybe that’s why you guys like these articles :)

  • dee

    um mark wahlberg was NOT a NKOTB…his older brother Donnie was the NKOTB Wahlberg…NOT Mark.

    • 1DFan

      You would think that a pseudo savvy internet blogger/pop culture reference would have gotten that aspect right. Then again that would imply Jenni Maier knew what she was talking about. She doesn’t.

  • Larissa

    All the lewd comments about the blogger and her mom…is that what “trolling” is? Because if these guys are serious, I’m kinda sad for humanity. And also super curious as to why these men clicked on an article about Mark Wahlberg’s penis…

    • James

      Larissa it is a known fact that Marky Mark is one of the biggest pimps in the entire world. He’s bagged women from all over the world.. There is no shame in men giving props to one of the biggest players in all of hollywood. Maybe you feel it’s awkward because of your own sexual insecurity. You ought to try prostitution. It will make you feel better bout yourself. Just ask a certain crushable “author’s” ma :) .

      Plus we also heard that If we were to make posts on articles talking about marky mark’s unit we were going to get free bj’s from a certain mother. Hasn’t disappointed us yet :) . Speaking of which, tell her that I’ll see her tonight :)

    • James

      It is a known fact that marky mark is a pimp and one of the biggest players in Hollywood. If you think it’s odd for other men to give props to a pimp like marky mark then it’s unite possible that you are feeling insecure about your own self esteem. Prostitution will cure that :)

    • James

      Plus we also heard from the grape vine that if we were to post comments on articles about marky mark’s unit, a certain crushable “author’s” ma would give us a bj. Speaking of which tell her I’ll see her tonight :)