Fox‘s new reality show The Choice sounds like an utter joke, but apparently the network is serious: It’s a dating show modeled after The Voice, where four celebrity bachelors sit with their backs to the regular girls who come on stage and try to convince the famous guys to date them. More than one celebrity can spin around for the right girl, and then it becomes a fight of who’s more recognizable. (I’m assuming. That, or maybe the girl actually gets to choose for herself, gasp.) So who would be the kind of men to populate this joke of a show?
Of course, these need to be guys who can’t get a girl just by walking into a bar and reciting their IMDb profile. I love how Lainey Gossip used quotes to refer to the “celebrity” bachelors with each mention, because these guys will probably be plucked from the reality pool as opposed to Hollywood. Still, here are some folks we think wouldn’t mind taking a spin in the The Choice chairs.
Adam Levine: You know he’d be down after breaking up with model girlfriend Anne V, and he’s already had the training to slap that button. (Innuendo just a little bit intended.)
One of the guys from Teen Mom 2: They’re famous but not for any sort of talent, and unilaterally seem douchey enough to play into this kind of dating game. Really, I would tune in just to see the girls’ horror that the guy turning around is Kieffer or Adam.
Jake Pavelka: The former Bachelor seems to be cautiously staying single after his trainwreck of a breakup with Vienna Girardi last year. He’s also warming to playing himself regularly, including on the upcoming comedy web series Burning Love.
Ray J: He needs to get some face time after getting ripped apart by the 3 Golden Sisters, and he’s already had experience with his own ridiculous dating show The Love of Ray J.
Cedric Martinez: Yes, I keep pulling reality stars, because I really can’t imagine respectable actors signing on to this. But considering that his surprise appearance on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this past season — with his probably-surgically-enhanced Joker smile — was so deliciously dramatic, I would love to see him on something equally bad.
Ashton Kutcher: He’s obviously looking for some love, as that awful Popchips ad from yesterday showed us. Or he could just resurrect his racist brownface character Raj—bet the ladies would just love to see that spinning around in the chair.
This sounds like one of those horrible shows that will make a lot of money.