• Tue, May 1 2012

Hulu Just Quit Being Hulu; Millions Are About To Cry

Bad, Hulu! Why do you wanna go and ruin a good thing? You served such an amazing purpose for those of us who lacked cable, a television or just simply wanted to skip all the extra bullshit commercials that make watching our favorite TV shows a less than perfect situation. One day, like a beacon of hope and light cascading down from the heavens you appeared and made life so much better! But now, you’ve taken that away. Hulu, you’re a bad, bad guy.

Originally a place where one could go and stream shows online, that concept is about to be tossed out the window with the same fervor of a mother tossing a turkey on Thanksgiving after she’s lost her patience with us ungrateful little bastards. Now the change is coming and it’s not too far away. The change which, if we’re to be honest, is royally going to fuck over those who rely on Hulu for, well, existence. Soon you’ll have to “authenticate” that you’re already a cable subscriber before Hulu will hand over the goods.

In case you’ve been without cable for quite some time, like a lot of us, signing up for it is the equivalent of lighting cash on fire. You’re looking at anywhere from $70 a month and upward (way upward depending on where you live and your cable provider) for hundreds of channels that you could care less about just so you can get your Liz Lemon fix. I’m no mathematician or scientist in any way, but this seems to defeat the entire purpose for which Hulu initially stood.

There’s no question that a nominal fee, as Hulu Plus currently has, isn’t too much to ask of viewers, but signing up for cable and making it all legit is just something out of an ass-backward movie with a conclusion that ends up on Mars. In other words, none of it makes sense.

So the next time you’re walking down the street doing your thing and you happen to pass someone in tears, just gently put your arm around their shoulder and whisper: “I know. Hulu broke my heart, too.”

I’ll say it again: bad, Hulu, bad!

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  • Fred

    Hulu hasn’t changed. An unreliable news organization, citing unnamed sources, claimed that it MAY be going to change. Take a deep breath. Relax. This is all just an unconfirmed rumor.

  • joepa

    With the exception of the post above, all of you who picked up this story from the NY Post are idiots.