• Mon, Apr 30 2012

The Wikipedia Entry For The Raven Is The Most Hilariously Detailed Summary Ever

The Raven Wikipedia summary John CusackI often turn to Wikipedia not to find out about historical events, but instead to learn the plots of movies that I just don’t want to waste two hours of my life watching—usually bad romantic comedies and end-of-the-world dramas that are interesting only in the very last shot. The Raven is one of those movies I would probably read the Cliffs Notes version of rather than pay $14 to see in theaters. (Sorry, John Cusack.)

Except, when I clicked over to the Wikipedia entry, it wasn’t succinct at all.

Even the most detailed movie descriptions are like three paragraphs, tops. This one goes on for thousands of words and is peppered with side notes expressing both facts from the time this film is set — uncited, natch — as well as the user’s personal opinion of the story. The user also reveals the killer’s identity three sentences in, so I’m going to assume it was a guy since women seem to be more the types to build up to the big twist in retelling a story.

Because it’s Wikipedia, the entry has since been cleaned up a bit, though it’s still rather unruly. I took screenshots, but really all I need to post is the first few paragraphs for you to get a sense of how rambling this narrative was. (Click to enlarge, and spoilers, obviously.)

The Raven Wikipedia summary long funny John Cusack spoilers

All that encapsulates maybe the first ten minutes! And now we know more than we ever wanted to about Poe’s love life, his alcoholism, his pet raccoon Karl… oh, and the killer’s identity revealed in the fifth sentence. So, this is what a hilariously overzealous Wikipedia entry looks like. Thanks to my friend Danny Bowes for pointing out this Wiki gem, and for his tweet that provided a much better title for the movie: EDGAR ALLAN POE: FBI PROFILER.

Photo: Cinema Way

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