Last night, the good people at Bravo rewarded our patience with a much juicier episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Having written that, I regret it, given the disturbing images it brings to mind of what may have transpired between Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga during this episode. As usual, we heard much more than we ever wanted to know about their sex lives.
This is clearly the episode wherein Bravo presents us with the roles that the various RHONJ families are going to play in the coming season. The Manzo women have “health diagnoses” – Caroline’s menopause and Lauren’s weight. Jacqueline and Chris Laurita have perma-brat Ashley Holmes, as always. The Wakiles are the boring-but-trying-really-hard-to-be-interesting family. But above all, it’s Gorga v. Giudice. So who won in last night’s episode? Albie Manzo.
I know, right? Straight out of left field. Except not really, because Albie Manzo has always been one of the most endearing cast members of RHONJ. Remember when he had his law school problems? And he just wanted so badly to succeed? And that time he was on The Millionaire Matchmaker and it was awkward but he was kind of sweet?
Albie appeared in an equally sweet role at the start of this episode, when he agreed to drive Ashley Holmes to the airport. I have no idea why, because I imagine that Ashley’s vapid comments would be enough to drive anyone out of their mind. But Albie was there, and he provided the best moment of the episode when he declared, “Ashley thinks she’s Ke$ha.”