Following the revelation that Nadya “Octomom” Suleman is spending her welfare money on $500 Brazilian blowouts while her kids live in squalor and sleep on the floor, the company that makes said hair products (aptly named Brazilian Blowout) has offered a novel solution: free haircare.
“We want to make sure that California taxpayers’ money is not going to anything other than taking care of [Nadya Suleman's] children,” BB CEO Mike Brady told TMZ. “We don’t want to see those kids miss out on anything at the cost of a Brazilian Blowout.” Because clearly, the only thing standing between Octomom and sane, healthy parenting is the price of a hair straightening treatment. The company has also offered to fix Octomom’s toilet so her kids don’t have to poop outside anymore, leaked photos of which can be seen here. It’s all very heartbreaking, but on the upside, her hair looks great!
It might seem counter intuitive to some that Octomom is being rewarded for her terrible parenting with free haircare, but that’s the beauty of America. Get famous enough and people will gift you things, whether you’re famous for curing cancer or animal-hoarding small human beings who came out of you.