Remember how deliriously bad Fox’sÂ Joe MillionaireÂ was back in the day? This was one of the first reality shows that I can remember being built around a deception: Construction workerÂ Evan MarriottÂ pretended to be a wealthy bachelor, learning how to drink wine and lying to the female contestants. He ultimately bagged Zora Andrich, and once he told her his true identity she said she loved him anyway, allowing the couple to take home $1 million. (But of course, they broke up after filming ended, because that’s how reality-TV love goes.)
Evan was kind of cute, in a beefy, Tarzan kind of way. But then BuzzFeed found this screenshot of what he looks like now, and the years have not been kind.
THAT GOATEE. What could have possessed him to grow that on his chin? I don’t think he could pass for anything but “washed-up reality star” by now; his IMDb profile reflects that, since his last big roles were reprising the Joe MillionaireÂ persona on Miss Castaway and the Island GirlsÂ in 2004 and appearing as himself on 1 vs. 100Â in 2008.
My favorite scene from the series has always been when runner-up Sarah KozerÂ seemed to take Evan into the woods for an illicit blow job: We heard her say, “Let’s go somewhere quiet,” and then subtitles like [slurp] and [suck] while the camera was trained on the dark woods. In writing this article, however, I discovered that the Joe MillionaireÂ producers freely admitted to “frankenbyting” the scene out of other footage. So now I’m really disappointed.
This promo makes me feel a little bitÂ better:
Photos: Snakkle, BuzzFeed