For as much as I loved that Girls showcased young women having bad sex in the series premiere, I disliked it this week. For a series premiere, the incredibly awkward ”get on your knees” sex scene between Hannah and her not-boyfriend-boyfriend Adam was incredibly refreshing.
“Oh,” I thought to myself, “here’s a twenty-something having bad sex with a guy she really likes.” That’s relatable and that happens all the time. Just because you want to have sex with someone, doesn’t mean that sex will be good. It’s a lesson you learn again and again in your early twenties — and I suspect into your late twenties as well.
But this week, both Hannah and Marnie had awkwardly bad sex. Jessa starts bleeding while being fingered and Shoshanna admits to being a 21-year-old virgin. Four out of four girls didn’t speak favorably about sex this week and that’s what I think borders on unrealistic.
For all the incredibly awkward sex of our early adult years, there’s also lots of good sex. After all, isn’t it the bad sex and the awkward sex that teaches you want you want and what you like. Every sexual experience, whether it’s a boyfriend, a fuck buddy or a one night stand has potential to be good. It’s not all weird child-rape fantasies and emotionless doggy-style orgasms and sketchy bar bathroom hook-ups.
Each of those horrible “good for a morning after brunch story” experiences usually comes with a good story from another experience. People do sit down with their friends and say, “I had good sex last night.” Maybe not as stilted and as awkward as that sounded when I typed it, but you get the gist. Good sex happens to good people. Even to bad people. Even to people as horribly insecure and needy as Hannah.
While I don’t want to condemn the show on the second episode, I hope the theme of the entire season isn’t bad sex. It’s one thing to strive to be more realistic than a show like Sex and the City, it’s another thing to go so completely in the “we don’t orgasm every time” direction that you become just as unrealistic.