Last night Bravo’s oldie but good reality show, The Real Housewives of Orange County premiered its tenth episode of the seventh season entitled “Cabin Fever”, which is a weak ass title in my opinion. Can we also talk about how this series is on its seventh season? And the fact that Vicki Gunvalson has been a main housewife in every single season? Is that sad? Is that something that’s kind of cool? I don’t even know how to answer these questions, guys. It kind of boggles my mind that this show is still even on to be honest, but then here I am writing about it in detail on a weekly basis! So you win, Andy Cohen, you win.
Basically all the ladies but Gretchen and Tamra headed to a camping ground to go “glamping” which is apparently “glamourous camping”. I’m not going to say that I saw some glamour happening anywhere during this camping trip except maybe for Alexis’ juicy sweatsuit she rocked the whole trip. Gretchen was freaking out about her “voice” the whole episode and blaming it on Slade. Heather was being an okay human, but kind of picking on Alexis a little too much. Vicki was missing her boo, Brooks. Tamra was loving life as the newest member of the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee”. These ladies kind of conducted the train to Dullsville, USA last night, but it’s okay. I’m going to find some burning questions anyway and see exactly why these ladies had cabin fever last night.
1. What does Heather mean when she says that she’s 98% real?
I think I already know the answer to this, but in her little intro thing she talks about how she’s married to a plastic surgeon. Is she implying that doesn’t mean she has a fake personality, just fake boobs? I’m not sure. I mean, I get it, her cheeks are a little too “cheeky” if you get what I’m saying. You can tell that she’s had some work done, but 98 just seems like such a random number. Why even do a percentage anyway, Bravo people? Why couldn’t you say like, “I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I am definitely not fake.” Something along those lines. I’m just saying, it’s kind of a stupid opener, and I came up with a better one in two seconds.
2. Is Eddie growing a playoff beard?
It’s the NHL playoffs (for the 10 of you who watch hockey). During this three month period, all the hockey players (and a lot of fans) grow these huge beards as a sort of superstition. I always thought it was a little silly, but I get the idea behind it. So when Eddie walked into Tamra’s house sporting this really weird 5 o’clock shadow type beard, I was kind of weirded out. He already kind of creeps me out (why do all the housewives’ significant others creep me out?) and with this beard, it’s just amplified. I hope he shaves it once the LA Kings are out of the playoffs because I can’t deal with his mug for another week.