In Touch’s Cover Totally Pretends Like Jessica Simpson Already Gave Birth

After the misleading Jessica Simpson Baby headlines in Ok Magazine a few weeks ago, I thought we all agreed that pretending like Jessica Simpson already gave birth to sell magazines was probably a little unethical. But looks like I have to get back on my soapbox this week to talk to In Touch about writing headlines like “Inside Jessica’s Dramatic Delivery” with text that says, “her tearful first words to her new baby girl.”

While the actual article clarifies that Jessica Simpson’s womb is still inhabited, the cover story makes it sounds like In Touch pulled the baby out of her in the delivery room and caught Jessica’s precious first words. Which, in this day and age of  celebrities making money in every which way possible, isn’t completely out of the question — but it hasn’t happened yet.

Also, they didn’t even need the misleading headlines becuase the story itself is absolutely ridiculous. They claim Jessica needed to schedule a C-Section because she was anxious about the pain of giving birth.

But unfortunately for the normally bubbly Fashion Starmentor, in the weeks leading up to the birth, her unbridled joy was cut short by sharp pangs of panic. “The thought of going into labor scared the bejeezus out of her,” a friend tells In Touch of the 31-year-old, who after months of speculation — and In Touch’s exclusive report — confirmed last fall that she was indeed expecting her first child with fiancé Eric Johnson, 32. “She was so anxious, she was even breaking into cold sweats at night.”

You only need to watch 1-2 movies that involve a woman giving birth to get the gist that it’s painful. Incredibly and screamingly painful. I break into cold sweats all the time just thinking about it and I’m nowhere close to being pregnant. That and the nipple bleeding from breast feeding (yes, that apparently happens) often keep me up at night.  So I don’t think “a fear of  birthing pain” requires her friend to act like Jessica’s going through some kind of unique and troubling situation.

While I could wax poetic all day on Jessica Simpson’s fears, I would prefer to end this post with this touching quote about her husband, Eric in regards to his new baby.

“Eric is so excited about the birth,” the friend tells In Touch.

In light of all these pregnancy fears, there’s a bright spot in the Johnson-Simpson household, the baby’s father is excited for the baby. Which is good, because it’s his baby and as I understand it, she’s coming home to live with them for like ever, so it’s super neat he’s excited.

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