Quick! Can you guess which of these women is beautiful, tough, but emotionally stunted and completely uncomfortable at weddings? If you guessed former model/Baywatch star Brooke Burns as the stick-up-her-ass bodyguard to a spoiled Texas heiress, then you’re right! Your prize is that you didn’t have to watch Hallmark‘s bad Miss Congeniality/The Bodyguard/The Wedding Date rip-off Undercover Bridesmaid. That pleasure went to me, and I’ve compiled this Highlights Reel so you can live through the awfulness without having lost two hours of your life.
Here’s the gist: Bodyguard Tanya is the only one who can go undercover at Daisy‘s dream wedding, to find out who has been sending the oil tycoon’s daughter threatening messages cut out of magazines. But Tanya hates weddings! For reasons we’ll go into later, but which you can already guess. Along the way there’s subpar karaoke, Tanya tackling basically every member of the wedding party, and an exploding wedding cake. Oh, yes.