Now that Jessica Simpson‘s pregnancy has reached the year mark and the reality star has exhausted every possible line of conversation about her slowly-gestating child — pregnancy sex, her water breaking “like a fire hydrant” — Us Weekly has tracked down her hairstylist Ken Paves for more updates on Jessica’s seeming endless pregnancy. (Also, because it’s been about two weeks since we last saw Jessica out and about, and we need reassurance that she hasn’t collapsed under the weight of the octuplets she’s carrying.)
Worry not, because Paves says his star client is doing great. In fact, she’s really enjoying the end of this pregnancy. Like, you kind of wonder if she’s chemically induced herself to stay pregnant forever. Paves said,
“[She's] doing amazing. This is so perfect for her. She’s just loving this moment now.”
I’ll tell you why Jessica’s having the time of her life: Because being pregnant keeps her on the covers of magazines and the star of endless posts on sites like ours. Before she announced her pregnancy in October 2011 — was it really that recently?! — she did small projects like the mildly amusing Price of Beauty series and releasing countless best-of albums but not a lot of new material.
Even her engagement to Eric Johnson was met with only a smattering of enthusiasm. But then Jessica got pregnant! Which propelled her to the forefront of celebrity gossip, as we obsessed over the usual factors: Will she get married before or after giving birth? Boy or girl? Will the name make us cringe in sympathy for her unborn child? OK magazine used her pregnancy and a tricky turn of phrase to make it seem like they’d gotten the scoop on the long-awaited birth, for God’s sake! And you know that Jessica’s camp is milking this.
Because once she gives birth, she turns the spotlight over to baby Maxwell, who will inevitably suffer comparisons to Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo‘s child but will also have her cousin Bronx Mowgli Wentz to show her the ropes of celebrity child fame. Right now, Jessica’s getting all the attention because she’s a pregnant celebrity, but once the baby is born it’s clear that Jessica is just a means to an end, the end being yet another adorable celebrity child.
We wouldn’t put it past Jessica’s people to prolong this pregnancy, this focus on her, for as long as possible; and we wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant with baby number two before little Maxi starts walking.