We should have seen this coming. Millennials reminisce so fondly on our ’90s-era childhoods, but just as we get to relive shows like Nickelodeon’s All That, so too must we contend with the nightmare-inducing relics that we thought we’d left behind when we hit puberty. I’m talking, of course, about the new Furby toys coming to stores this fall.
BuzzFeed has the exclusive first look at the new and improved Furby doll, which Hasbro has decided to resurrect even though they know that every human being in their 20s-30s still remembers with horror the sound of a Furby’s voice as it cooed at you to play with it and love it. Seriously! These things would not shut up, no matter if you buried them beneath clothes and boxes and thought that you were out of range to set off their motion-detector controls.
Speaking of their voices, it was so creepy that they started out with their own bizarre “Furbish” language but could somehow pick up English after only a short time with their new human friends. Shudder. Also, can we talk about the fact that every recent story about a Furby has been creepy? You’ve got…
- These announcements about the new toys;
- Weird robot-eye rings manufactured by a Japanese university that basically turns your hand into a Furby;
- The bizarre story of a man who claims he shot his wife by accident when the gun went off while cleaning, except that a woman on the jury claims she saw him shoot a Furby between the eyes in a fit of rage.
The only changes from the old Furby model to the new — that we can tell, at least — are the digital eyes and plush feet. But there’s nothing to make them less scary. What about Tamagotchis? Can we have those back, too?