Khloe and Lamar Memorable Quotes: Welcome to Dallas

Howdy ya’ll! This week on Khloe and Lamar, we’re in Texas. Yee haw! Thank god the most normal of the Kardashians went to Dallas because Kourtney or Kim could not mess with Texas.

So to start, Bruce brings Khloe her first cowboy hat because Bruce is the most awesome guy ever. Can he just have his own show called How to be Normal When Surrounded by Krazies? Kris Jenner yells at Bruce when he starts to make light of the situation because he doesn’t know how it feels to have his kid leave.

Kris: “Would you stop already? You don’t have any emotion! You don’t know what I’m feeling!”

Yeah because Bruce didn’t have to leave the whole Jenner part of his family behind to be a part of this one.

Khloe’s on a plane! She lands! She’s in Dallas!

Khloe’s Driver: “Welcome to Dallas. Home of the NBA champs.”

She reunites with her Lammy, and then immediately starts stressing him out when she starts talking about how they need to go house hunting. She’s done her research, found real estate agents and starts looking at houses ASAP.

Lamar is at practice (if we Kardashian fans wanted to watch basketball, we would turn on basketball), and he can’t seem to make a shot.

Lamar: “Being on a new team for the first time, everything is mental now. All eyes are on me. The pressure’s on.”

Blah, blah, blah sports cliches.

Khloe realizes people in Dallas are very friendly, and not in a “creepy way.” People come up to her on the street asking for hugs and smiling. Do they not do that in L.A.? She resumes looking for places and thinks she found  a perfect one that meets her checklist. It’s open and has high ceilings (because Lamar may hit his head on low ceilings?). When she tries to tell Lamar about it, he yawns a few times, and Khloe is angry.

After the commercial, we see that Khloe’s boxes with all of her things are coming in. Since they haven’t signed a lease, she just gets another hotel room for all the boxes. Throw that money around, girl! Since she’s in a spending mood, she goes to a mattress store because that’s the most important thing she needs to buy.

Khloe: “I would say the most important piece of furniture would be the mattress. Lamar is 6’10. He cannot fit on most mattresses.”

Also, her first BFF in Dallas is the mattress salesman.

Right after an exhausting practice, Lamar is forced to go house hunting. He obviously doesn’t want to and is getting frustrated with Khloe. When Khloe takes him to see the place she really likes, Lamar asks if there will be a bathroom for Jamie when Jamie comes to visit. I get as angry as Khloe. I hate Jamie. For some reason, Lamar wants to buy two apartments now.

Khloe: “Jamie’s not coming here. Just so you know.”

Thank god. Then they have an actual argument, which is rare for them. Lamar says he is going to call Jamie and tell him he can never come to Dallas to live. Khloe is angry because she came to Dallas for Lamar and is working hard to find them a house, and that’s not enough for Lamar if he needs Jamie to live in Dallas too.

Khloe: “I get it. This is not about Jamie, and it’s not about what condo to rent. Lamar’s just exhausted and frustrated, and he’s taking it out on me.”

They finally pick out a condo, but don’t say which one.

Some basketball wife reaches out to Khloe and invites her to dinner to welcome her to Dallas. Khloe takes advantage of this girl time, and tells this random lady about her frustrations with Lamar.

UGH. Now we have to watch some basketball. It’s the first game of the season and Lam Lam is anxious and doesn’t feel prepared. He keeps missing shots and fouling.

Khloe from the stands: “Lamar, LET IT GO!”

After the game, Khloe lights some candles and throws some rose petals around their room. She hopes the romance will help Lamar feel better, but he is obviously really upset. He says his body isn’t responding, whatever that means, and he needs to wind down. Sorry Khloe, no romance tonight. She calls her mom crying because she can’t make Lamar happy.

Kris: “You can’t always hold everybody together, every once in a while, you need to fall apart too.” 

Lamar comes out of his room and sees Khloe crying. They make up and agree that things will be okay.

Khloe: “I love you.”
Lamar: “Promise?”
Khloe: “Promise. Cuddle time.”  

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    • Gerry Maguire

      Get both of their asses out of town asap!!!