Last night on Mad Men, we learned some new facts about our man Don Draper. For those of you concerned about spoilers, you should stop reading now. For the rest of you, we learned that you can teach an old dog new tricks. But he might need to get naked and kill a bitch if you want him to be monogamous.
So far this season, Don has turned over a new leaf. He’s moved into a slick, oddly tan apartment in the city with his new wife Megan, and he’s really trying to prove that he can handle this whole sleeping with one woman thing. Except life keeps getting in the way. At the beginning of the episode, a woman comes on to Don in an elevator in front of his new wife. And she is not pleased. But Don will not be felled by his enduring sex appeal. He turns the woman away and insists that his old marriage was crap and he’s going to be with Megan until his dies.
Even if that means he has to strangle a chic to prove it.
Along with his new found fidelity, here are some things we learned about Don last night:
1. Don Draper is mortal. And is capable of contracting a really nasty cold.
2. Even with a nasty nasal infection, Don’s sex appeal cannot be stopped.
3. And neither can a new wife standing next to him stop women from openly propositioning him.
4. But Don has only eyes for Megan, even if said woman shows up at his apartment.
5. However, if she is unrelentless is pursuing him, he will have sex with her quickly before Megan comes home.
6. But if she keeps talking, he will kill her. While naked.
7. Not surprisingly, Jon Hamm looks pretty great naked.
8. Rather than clean up the body, Don will shove her under the bed and expect things will just sort themselves out.
9. And they do! It was just a dream and Megan showed up with fresh OJ in the morning.
10. Don Draper’s psyche is still pretty fucked up. Monogamy doesn’t have to be this hard.