So last night I was standing in line at the drug store, minding my own business and just waiting to make my purchase when I saw the cover of OK Magazine. I grabbed it quickly, how did I possibly miss Jessica Simpson giving birth? I’ve been tracking this pregnancy more closely than I track my fluctuating Twitter follower count. (And man oh man, it fluctuates. Some days I have 89 porn spam bots following me, other days I only have 83.)
I picked it up, flipped to the feature that was apparently full of exclusive details only to find out that it was all written about the upcoming birth. The extremely revealing quotes included tidbits like this:
In fact, the insider says Jessica has been preparing for the birth from the very start. “She talks to the baby and already feels like she knows her. She sings to her all the time, too.”
“Jessica is going to be the most unbelievable mother — she’s taken to it like a duck to water.”
So basically nothing new and nothing revealing. Unless you consider avian pregnancy similes exciting.
This all means OK Magazine is aware that Jessica Simpson hasn’t given birth yet. But then how can they justify their headline: My First Days As A New Mom. Or the text below it that reads, “the star opens up about her beautiful girl” that’s next to a photo of her holding another baby.
I know OK Magazine is a tabloid and I know they use their headlines to sell it, but I think this one is pushing it. Especially because we don’t even know yet if her girl will be beautiful. They’ll all feel pretty stupid if that baby’s ugly. But I guess that’s sometimes how tabloids have to learn their lesson. One not-so-beautiful baby at a time.