Bravo‘s TV marathons are my personal morphine. I can put one on and comfortably zone out in front of my TV for the entire weekend. So it’s safe to say I love Bravo and their Real Housewives and their Top Chefs and their unobtrusive product placement. With that said, their new TV show line-up looks like it’s a mockery of itself. I know Bravo likes following professionals and exposing the more exciting elements of their career, but they are pushing it with this line-up.
Let’s start with this one:
“Huh?” (working title)
Ever wonder who is behind those hilarious cat memes? Bravo goes inside the office of Ben Huh and his eclectic staff at icanhascheezburger.com, one of the largest humor publishers on the Internet known for their popular LOLs and FAILs.
As someone who works full-time at an Internet publishing company, I’m a little confused as to what this would be about. Yes we, speaking for all bloggers and internet curators here, publish amazing, funny and awe-inspiring content every day. But we personally are not amazing, funny or awe-inspiring. We’re typists. We sit at a computer all day and type. Occasionally click, but mostly type. It’s very boring to watch.
Or how about this show, which sounds like a real-live Downton Abbey:
“Below Deck” (working title)
The upstairs and downstairs worlds collide when this young and single crew of “yachties” live, love and work together onboard a luxurious mega yacht while tending to the ever-changing needs of their wealthy, demanding charter guests.
It sounds too good to be true. Then again I’m basing that purely on Lifetime movies I’ve watched where spouses use yachts and luxury liners to kill each other out in the open water. So I guess I’m imagining cold-blooded murder, when I should be imagining the scandalous affair between a captain and a rich elderly lady who rents yachts for her family in an attempt to make her children love her.
Moving on. Let’s talk about this one, which might border on unethical.
“LA Shrinks” (working title)
It takes one to treat one! The professional and personal lives of dynamic experts are exposed as they counsel a wide array of clients at some of the top private practices in Los Angeles.
Could you really trust your shrink after watching him/her on a reality show? Especially knowing everything that you know about reality shows. It’s rude enough when your shrink tells you that your time is up early, do you really need them to start canceling appointments over filming conflicts?
And my favorite on the list:
“SUR” (working title)
Best known as one of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa Vanderpump opens the salacious kitchen doors of her exclusive Hollywood restaurant and lounge, SUR. Declaring it the sexiest establishment she’s ever owned and “the place you take your mistress,” Lisa rules over her lively and mischievous staff with a platinum fist.
How is this a real thing? Lisa Vanderpump, the woman who was “forced” to wear a tiara at her daughter’s wedding, runs a restaurant for mistresses. Throw in a plastic surgery stall in the restrooms at SUR and you have the best reality show ever made. I’m guessing Jiggy is the maitre’d. That’s the only thing that would make sense in this super sexy scenario.
While these shows might all sound fake, they’re all very real and very much happening. I’m mentally setting my DVR as we speak. Watch the trailer for 5 of the new shows right here.