The sensual frolickings of Megan Fox and husband Brian Austin Green are much like the soft, downy tummy of a tiger: you might want to get all up in there, but the consequences are simply not worth it. Or so I gather from reports published today that the male half of the Hollywood power couple beat up a photographer while an increasingly aroused Megan Fox cheered him on.
According to TMZ, paparazzo Delbert Shaw has filed a lawsuit claiming that he was just minding his own business, taking some close-ups of the celebrity couple on a beach in Hawaii when they started making verbal threats against him. Ever the Lady Macbeth, Megan shouted “Are you going to let him get away with that?” which drove Mr. Green into a fit of rage. The suit alleges Green caused severe injuries, as well as throwing Shaw’s iPhone into the ocean, because why not?
Real talk: I do not condone violence of any kind, but how satisfying must it feel to hurl $400 worth of iPhone into the watery deep? Fox and Green have yet to comment on the story, but I have no doubt they’re off somewhere having triumphant, alpha dog sex as they re-live their defeat of Delbert Shaw.