Jennifer Lawrence Had An Interesting Childhood

Apparently Jennifer Lawrence could have used a pre-Hunger Games exercise plan just to get through her childhood. Her two big brothers had the run-of-the-mill sibling torture down, but also proved they could get creative with their childhood wrath.

Jennifer explained to David Letterman, while on his show this week, “they used to pin my feet back behind my head – I can’t do this anymore – and then they would get our dachshunds and put peanut butter all over my face. We had three dachshunds and then the dogs would do this [go crazy licking]. And then they’d shut the door, lock me in the basement with dachshunds.”

Dachshunds aren’t tracker jackers or anything, and plenty of kids might enjoy a bunch of cute dogs licking their face, but it’s the fact she was locked in the basement that makes me nervous. How long would she remain locked in there? Were there any Home Alone-style furnace monsters down there to terrorize her?

While it looks like Jennifer wasn’t permanently scared by the licking sessions she did seem happy to reveal her brothers’ shenanigans on national TV saying, “And now – karma! – I go on talk shows and tell everybody. I win!”

When she says she’s telling everyone, I wonder if anyone close to her brothers was in the dark about their treatment of her. Will their parents enforce retroactive groundings? Relatives give them disapproving looks at the next family gathering? After prepping for the movie with intense physical training and archery lessons, I think it’s safe to say her brothers can’t mess with her any more.

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