Adam Sandler’s Upcoming Movie Looks Better Than Jack And Jill, But Worse Than Every Other Movie Ever Made

Well it’s official. Adam Sandler is hungry and he’s hungry for Razzies. That’s the only way to explain his choice to optionally star in the worst movies ever created. His latest role as a teen father in the film That’s My Boy demonstrates his uncanny ability to convince producers to pay him to play a version of Billy Madison in every single film he does.

Fortunately for us, he’s not playing both of the lead roles in this film. Unfortunately for Andy Samberg‘s career, he’s co-starring as Adam Sandler’s grown-up son. How can Adam Sandler be Andy Samberg’s father? What zany things had to happen for this to occur?

Let me explain. You’re going to love it! (That last sentence was just in case Mary Kay Letourneau was reading. If you’re not he, please disregard.)

Adam Sandler’s character, Donny Levine, knocked up his teacher in the 7th grade. His teacher goes to jail and leaves him to raise their son Todd Levine.  Against all odds, Todd Levine grows up to be successful and moves far, far away from his father. However (here’s the meat of the story here), Donny needs Todd to give him money so he doesn’t go to jail for not paying taxes and he approaches Todd for the money… right before his high society wedding.

Hijinks ensue.

Rich people and poor people at the same party! Estranged family! Adam Sandler using that horribly annoying voice throughout the whole film! Teen boys watching the movie and thinking that voice is funny to use in public!

ROTFLs all around.

Just kidding, quit rolling around the floor. This is a recipe for another Adam Sandler disaster. Has he no pride in himself? Or even more scary, does he think these movies are actually funny? Does he read these scripts and find them entertaining?

Regardless, he’ll rake it in the box office and get the green light for another horrible film. Wah wah. Hollywood sucks.

At least we’ll always have Wedding Singer.

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